Gooby Goop Nuke Nack

“Want Gooby Gooby nuke nack an’ die mins?” I ask nicely because Mommy is more likely to give me what I ask for when I do.

“What, honey?” she asks. She looks confused. Did I forget to say please? Maybe I forgot to say please..

“Pleeeease…” I offer up my biggest puppy-dog eyes.

“What do you want? I didn’t understand you, bud.” She’s making a cup of coffee and holding the baby. She’s always holding the baby.

I let out an exasperated sigh and throw my hands up in frustration. Mom does that a lot and I think it helps get the point across, so I use it whenever possible.

“Awww! Mommm! I jus’ want gooby goop nuke nack. An’ die mins, too.”

“Scooby Doo fruit snacks and vitamins?” Geez, finally she gets it. It’s not like I’m speaking a foreign language here.

“Yea!!” I nod my head excitedly and hop-hop-hop over to the pantry where the fruit snacks are. We get out two packages for my morning snack – always two – and carry them back into the kitchen. Mom gets me a bowl and hands me the open packages one at a time. She knows the fit I can throw if she doesn’t let me pour them into the bowl myself.

“Die mins, too?” I ask, barely able to contain my excitement.

She reaches into the cabinet and pulls out the bottle of dinosaur gummies. “Yep! Vitamins, too!” she answers. “How many do you get?”

“TWO!!” I yell. I count them as she puts them in my bowl. “Onnne…. threeeee..”

“No,” Mom says. “Silly. It’s one, TWO.”

“Yep! TWO!” I say. Duhh.. that’s what I said.

I grab the vitamins in my already sticky hand and hop-hop-hop out to the living room with my bowl. Mom doesn’t like when I hop while she’s trying to get the baby to sleep ’cause I’m super-loud hitting the hardwood floor and it always wakes him up. I can’t help it, though. Hopping is fun.

“Braeden… quiet! I’m trying to get your brother to sleep.” See? Told you she doesn’t like it.

I plop my bowl down on the coffee table and, within minutes, I have the contents eaten. Darn. I want more food. I can eat a lot, you know.

Mom just sat down, so now’s a good time to ask because she obviously isn’t busy doing something else.

“Mommm, I want nonga bar,” I shout as I stomp across the floor. The baby starts crying again. Naughty baby. “Baby! No cry! You go in time OUT!” I say to him, my lips pursed.

“Braeden, stop! You need to be quiet; the baby’s trying to sleep!” Obviously, he isn’t. He’s crying. That’s why I said he’s naughty and needs time out. Mom has no idea what’s going on sometimes.

“I want nonga bar,” I say, switching tactics. Baby’s still crying. Maybe he needs me to kiss him. I run over and land myself across Mom’s lap, covering baby’s face with kisses.

Wow. His face is really red when he cries.

Mom sighs and stands up. “You want a granola bar? Fine. But that’s it. And please get off the baby!”

I follow her into the pantry. How can I possibly be on the baby when she’s holding him?

“I not onna baby, Mom!” Man, this woman can be dense.

She sighs again and hands me a granola bar.

“Yayyyy! I get nonga bar!” I yell my approval, running off with my much-coveted snack.

I throw in a couple hops on the way for good measure.

Baby can’t hear it over all that screaming anyways.

____________________

This post was written in response to a prompt by The Red Dress Club and was done from the perspective of my 2 year old. Because, yes, he can drive me crazy like no one else.

Is there someone who drives you crazy?
Someone who really gets under your skin?

Write a first-person piece – as if YOU are this individual. Write from his or her perspective and include the things that really bother you. This can be completely fictional or you can base it on a real-life person.

Word limit is 600.

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About Caitlin's Concepts

Mom to 4 boys and drowning in a sea of testosterone!
This entry was posted in My Babies, The Red Dress Club and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Gooby Goop Nuke Nack

  1. Elaine says:

    This is like several mornings from my past. I can totally relate, in other words. You have a knack for writing out “toddler speak”. Love that it’s from his toddler perspective. Great job.

  2. This is fantastic.
    I love that you used baby language and baby rational.
    My favorite line,
    “I let out an exasperated sigh and throw my hands up in frustration. Mom does that a lot and I think it helps get the point across..”
    Hilarious.
    So well done.

  3. Kir says:

    oh this was good, I never thought of using the kiddos when they are just ANNOYING (and that should show you how my patience therapy is going..LOL) this was adorable and spot on, like you were in his head. I LOVED it.
    Great job!!!!

    • LOL Thanks! I was actually going to originally do it from his POV, but as directed at his older brother, whom he irritates on a daily basis. However, after the atrocity that was yesterday, I had to do it from my own annoyance. ;P

  4. Frelle says:

    sweet, and so true. and toddlers, even your own, do absolutely get under your skin! πŸ™‚

  5. Ilana says:

    So this is fictional, right? Kidding. I love hearing a little kid’s perspective on a baby. Obviously, he doesn’t want to sleep! Mom is clueless! Fun post.

  6. Yuliya says:

    What a creative idea! You sure speak toddlerease well.

  7. Knitmyrhino says:

    Hilarious! I love the excitement you feel when mom does what she’s told!

  8. Galit Breen says:

    Ugh. I’m shuddering remembering moments just like this!

    Loved the toddler-ese and the self talk/ reactions to the mom.

    This: “She’s always holding the baby” broke my heart a teeny tiny bit. Do you think they think that?

    And this: “I let out an exasperated sigh and throw my hands up in frustration. Mom does that a lot and I think it helps get the point across, so I use it whenever possible.” was hilarious!

    Great job! πŸ™‚

    • Thank you so much! I actually do think that he has to think that at least once in awhile.. given that the toddler radar is employed and he only asks me to read to him or get him something when I’m feeding/changing the baby or trying to get him to stop crying. I know it has to be rough, and I hate that I get frustrated, but I was only born with 2 hands and 2 legs… and they are NOT “Go-Go-Gadget” on either count. I just wanted to throw it in as a reason for him acting out, or constantly needing something… it’s a way of him getting the attention he wants/needs from me.

      So… looking back on it? Writing from his perspective kinda stinks a little. I’d hate to be the little guy in the house, used to all the doting and attention, and suddenly not having it that way anymore. 😦

  9. Seriously, I laughed out loud several times!

    This because kids do so imitate their parents and I love that he knows why he’s doing it, “I let out an exasperated sigh and throw my hands up in frustration. Mom does that a lot and I think it helps get the point across, so I use it whenever possible.”

    I felt so bad for mom at this point but it made me giggle, “Mom just sat down, so now’s a good time to ask because she obviously isn’t busy doing something else.”

    The whole part while he puts the baby in a time out was hilarious.

    This made me think he was going to grow up and be a lawyer, “How can I possibly be on the baby when she’s holding him?”

    And the last bit of hopping was truly perfection.

    So, well done!

  10. Melanie says:

    So so funny! You’ve got the toddler perspective down. Especially the toddler boy perspective. Love this. It’s like a scene from my own house with my preschooler and the baby (who I am trying to put to sleep). Such a nice snapshot of life with kiddos under 3 years old.

    My favorite two lines: “I throw in a couple hops on the way for good measure. Baby can’t hear it over all that screaming anyways.”

    Nicely done.

  11. Renee says:

    Love the toddler speak!
    Getting some practice in that with the grandson. Who also walks/hops/runs as loudly as possible. Which of course wakes his little sister.

    I have no concrit, good writing.

  12. Angie aka The Little Mumma says:

    Haha! This piece resonated with me A LOT. I was very close to writing something similar.

    The hop-hop-hopping while Mum is trying to put the baby to sleep – if that’s not crazy-making, I don’t know what is!

    You captured the toddler voice nicely. This bit especially made me laugh –
    β€œBaby! No cry! You go in time OUT!” I say to him, my lips pursed.

    That was fun. Nice work.

  13. Mandyland says:

    Fantastic.

    I loved the foreign language, the internal thoughts and that last line? Classic.

    Great job!!

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